


Policy of Truth

by ester_potter



Series: Crystals [2]
Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Blow Jobs, Jealousy, M/M, Making Up, Missing Scene, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Post Episode: s04e13 Face Off, Smut, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:35:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27689714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ester_potter/pseuds/ester_potter
Summary: “Let's see if this reminds you who you belong to”[Originally posted on EFP Fanfiction]
Relationships: Jesse Pinkman/Walter White
Series: Crystals [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033695
Comments: 7
Kudos: 56





	Policy of Truth

_“_ _Pleasures remain, so does the pain_

_Words are meaningless and forgettable_

_All I ever wanted, all I ever needed_

_Is here in my arms”_

_-_ Depeche Mode

After Gustav's death, they never sorted things out. They didn’t apologize or vent. They didn’t touch each other, except to shake hands. Yet, at that moment, they both clearly felt like every piece was falling back to the right place.

Jesse has learned the schedules that dictate Mr. White and family's routine by now, so he comes by the next morning when he knows Skyler will be at work and Walter Jr. will be at school. As soon as Walt lets him in and shuts the door behind him, Jesse already knows he has fucked up all his uncertainty, self-control, and self-respect and throws his arms around his neck.

As if he was expecting it, Walt grabs him by the hips, pushing him with his back against the door and kisses him eagerly. Jesse lets out a moan of relief and opens his lips under his, pushing his tongue into his mouth. Walt drags him towards the bedroom and Jesse lets himself be guided breathlessly, taking off his jacket and dropping it on the floor.

As the back of his legs meet the bed, Jesse sits down and hurries to open his belt; Mr. White pushes his hands away and proceeds to unbuckle him as Jesse takes off his shirt in the meantime. He kicks off his jeans and shoes and backs down onto the mattress, while he holds the collar of the older man's shirt, pulling him down. He spreads his legs and Mr. White lies down in the middle and kisses him again, hungry and possessive as he is in everything he does.

Jesse kisses back passionately, sucking the tip of his tongue and licking wherever he can, the roof of his mouth and the teeth, while slipping his hands under Walt's shirt and caressing his back, one of his favorite parts of the man’s body. He lifts his pelvis several times and rubs his erection against Mr. White's pants. The latter presses one hand on Jesse's shoulder to keep him down, back glued to the bed, and leaves a trail of kisses from his jaw to his neck and collarbone. He slowly bites everything that happens to be in his way and lingers on the nipple, sucking it hard while teasing the other one with his fingers. Jesse squirms, letting himself go with a string of moans and groans. The fact that Mr. White’s still dressed pisses him off _a lot_ , but it's also kind of hot.

In the meantime, the man goes down again, following a path of blondish hair across Jesse’s stomach and stopping to stroke his navel with his tongue repeatedly. He remembers how sensitive the younger man is, and the cock that twitches painfully from across his underwear proves it. Jesse raises his head to enjoy the scene, panting with his mouth open.

Mr. White pulls away from the navel and brings his eyes back to him. His glasses have fogged up, so he takes them off and gives them to Jesse, who places them on the bedside table on his left; it's a small gesture of trust, familiarity and habit, and Jesse surprisingly realizes how much he missed it, missed all of this. His heart clenches and he reaches out to cup the other man's cheek. “I missed you” he says.

Walt rewards him by finally taking off his underwear and gently caressing the inside of his thighs; Jesse spreads his legs instinctively and waits. When the Walt starts running his tongue all over the underside of his dick, Jesse grabs his bald head and curses himself as he realizes that he has shaved his head too, which means Mr. White will have nothing to pull, when _he_ will give him a blowjob – which he hopes will happen soon, thank you. However, his worries instantly disappear when he feels a rough beard tickling his balls and Mr. White sucking them insistently. He needs him to blow him _now_. “Hurry up” he urges him.

Walt shakes his head with a cruel grin. “If you missed me so much, you'll wait a little longer” he says.

Jesse groans in exasperation, sounding more like a capricious child to Walt’s ears. The older man starts licking again, softened and irritated at the same time. He takes his time to taste him, feel him and worship him the way he has always done, the way Jesse deserves. After all the shit that idiot has put them through, he is still the center of his world. But he’s never going to him that.

When he decides he has tortured him enough, he grabs the boy's now purplish cock, he sucks the tip and then works his tongue with circular movements all the way down the shaft, until he gets to the bottom. Jesse sighs and drops his head on the pillow. He’ll never been able to get over the fact that of all the girlfriends and hookers he has fucked, he received the best blowjobs of his life from a fifty year old cancer patient, which also happens to be his former high school chemistry teacher. It would be almost funny if it wasn't grotesque.

Mr. White bobs his head on his dick over and over, with the expert and infallible technique that always brings Jesse to the brink of an orgasm in a few minutes, while he holds his hips against the bed to keep him from moving.

Jesse moans both in frustration and excitement, he bites down on his fist and finalyly explodes in the other’s mouth. Walt swallows until the last drop and cleans his mouth with the back of his hand.

Jesse looks at him bewildered and consumed by pleasure, and he knows they have only just begun. Walt always makes him come twice, and the very thought of it is enough to send shivers down his spine. While Mr. White takes off his own shirt and pants, Jesse hurries to grab the lube from the drawer.

Walt places a pillow under the boy’s hips and the latter points his feet to the bed to keep his knees bent; Walt spreads his legs even wider and pours lube on his fingers. He rubs them together for a while, before he decides to stop ignoring Jesse's eyes on him. He look right back at him and then he leans forward between his knees: he places his left hand next to him on the bed and let his right one venture down, towards the young man’s hole. He circles it with the tip of his finger a couple of times, while Jesse stares at him with pleading eyes and lets his hands roam across his hairy chest. He’s dying to grab his wrist and guide it inside him, but he doesn’t dare. He knows what he can and cannot do on these occasions, so he just sits still and waits, breathing deeply.

The first finger slips into him with ease until the last knuckle, before Walt stops to wait for Jesse’s permission to go on. When the young man nods promptly, Walt starts to move it in circles until the walls loosen enough to ensure access to the middle finger. Jesse's dick stands fully erect between them again. “Everything okay?” Walt asks.

“Yeah… Go on”

Walt starts scissoring his fingers, then withdraws them and tucks them back inside again and again, one inch further each time, eliciting broken moans and quivering sighs from Jesse. It’s been a while since the last time, but it doesn't take him long to find his prostate. When he does, Jesse almost jumps. “There” he says immediately. He gives in and circles Mr. White's wrist with his fingers, trying to direct him back towards that spot.

The man satisfies him, and for once he lets himself be guided. His dick’s literally about to explode, but he holds on. He wants to give Jesse the fuck of his life. And to think that he had decided not to fuck him right away, once Gus was out of the picture. And to think that he was sure he would have made him wait for it, pay for what he did. How naive of him.

Now he’s got three fingers inside him, hitting that bundle of nerves that's having him going crazy and screaming like a girl during her first fuck. It occurs to him that Holly’s in the cradle, the nursery shares a wall with his bedroom and the last thing he wants is for her to wake up, start crying and turn him off, so he removes his fingers drawing out a noise of protest from the younger man.

He rapidly covers his shaft with lube, grabs one of Jesse's legs and brings it over his shoulder before slipping into him. Slow, but relentless. Jesse’s mouth opens in a silent 'O', his eyes are closed and sweat’s beading across his forehead and he’s just beautiful, so damn beautiful. “You needed to be filled again, didn't you?” mutters Walt, leaving him time to get used to that feeling again. “What did you think you were doing, you little shit? What, you were going to screw it all up and cut me out?”

Jesse opens his eyes again. He knows that the man in front of him now isn’t Mr. White, but he's not afraid. It's just another part of him that Jesse has learned to know by heart – and to love, despite himself. This is Heisenberg and Jesse fears him, but only when they’re in the working environment, not when he peeks out to fuck him properly. No matter what physical or verbal punishment he wants to inflict on him, Jesse is fine with it. He knows that whatever happens, he’s going to feel purified in the end. He will come out gratified and overjoyed with pleasure, like now.

“I’m sorry” he says. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry...” He repeats like a litany as he moves his hips forward to encourage Mr. White to move.

“Or maybe you let Gus fill you up? Did he make you do something else besides cooking? Did you bend over for him too?”

“No” Jesse answers immediately, shaking his head. “No, never”

“Or maybe Mike? He always seemed so eager to take you with him in those trips”

“I didn’t do it, Mr. White. I swear—”

“Shut up” snarls Walt in a low voice, however indulging the youngest man and starting to move.

He has been waiting for _weeks_ to shove his dick back inside him and Jesse, on the other hand, was having fun playing happy family with a girl he had just met and a son who’s not even his. He hates the poisonous jealousy that boils in his veins, hates the fact that he feels so pathetically weak. The fact that he depends so much on a hopeless 25-year-old’s well-being. But Jesse is here again, on his bed and under his hands, completely at his mercy. There’s nothing twisted, nothing wrong.

The first thrust has Jesse whimpering, and Walt leans his forehead against his. Screw this, he needs to get it off his chest. “I thought I'd lost you” he pants.

Jesse returns his gaze and Walt watches those blue wells fill with tears, bewitched. “I was pissed” admits Jesse between groans, praying that it is enough. “A-Aaah… I didn't… Oh, _shit_ … I was out of my mind…”

With every thrust, Walt gives in to his rage. “Look at what happened”

“It's okay”

“They tried to split us up”

"As if that was even enough” Jesse chuckles. Walt frowns at him frowning and the youngest takes his face in his hands, holding back the tears. “Yo. I would _never_ betray you. You know that, right?”

Walt does know it. He’s perfectly aware of the nature of their relationship, though it’s perhaps the one thing in the world he can’t explain rationally. He had not foreseen to find himself chained to him, but he is. He knows they’re like magnets: the more they try to put distance between them, the more an instinctive force pushes them back to the other. The last few weeks proved this. They can’t be separated and Walt swears on his own life that they won’t be anymore. He has already sold his soul just to be sure about it: he has poisoned an innocent child while being conscious of the risk – minimal, but still a risk – of killing him. And he knows that if Jesse ever finds out about it, he’ll lose him forever.

And he cannot bear that. He doesn’t answer, he just shoves his tongue into his mouth and plunders every corner of it, swallowing down every single one of the moans that come out of that naive, reckless, childish, stupid boy who loves him so much.

They pull away to catch their breath after what seems like an eternity, and Walt begins to look for the right angle by hooking Jesse’s right leg over his shoulder while the latter’s warm and wet inside suck him in until he almost sees stars. When he finds that soft spot inside him, Jesse gets really loud, louder than he’s been until now: he placing one hand on the headboard of the bed while sinking his fingernails on Mr. White’s lower back with the other.

“Quiet. My daughter’s sleeping” he warns him as he increases the speed. Jesse tries not to scream, he really does, but that hard dick is literally pounding his ass in the best possible way; it’s like standing on the edge of a cliff, his body shaken by the shivers as he shamelessly lets out a string of moans that might as well come out of a porn. “You can't do it, can you?” says Walt undauntedly, halfway between irritated and smug. “Let's see if this reminds you who you belong to”

Jesse’s dick is completely awake by now and it stands fully erect between them, hitting Walt's stomach at every movement; he starts masturbating him trying to follow the same rhythm of his thrusts while he puts the other hand on Jesse's mouth to muffle his noises. Jesse meets his every single one of his thrusts, he opens his mouth under his hand and licks his palm. The heat in his lower abdomen grows out of proportion, until he finally explodes into white hot spurts on Mr. White's fingers.

Jesse stiffens, and the walls surrounding the older man's cock tighten, sending him into ecstasy. He chases his pleasure until he comes up with an almost animalistic sound. He sighs and then collapses on top of him. There’s something in the way he empties himself inside Jesse that goes beyond mere satisfaction: there is pride, belonging. In those moments both feel it, they both win.

As Mr. White gets up to go to the bathroom to clean himself, Jesse looks at the alarm clock on the drawer. They have a couple of hours before Walter Jr. comes home. Brock is still at the hospital though he’s rapidly improving, and Jesse promised Andrea that he would join her there after a “business meeting”. Then they’re going to have to deal with Mike, who surely will unleash hell on Earth as soon as he finds out what they did. They're going to need a new place to cook and deal with Saul for percentages.

Jesse gets up to sit with his back against the headboard when Mr. White comes back with a washcloth; he cleans him up meticulously and then strokes his cheeks and stubble.

Jesse plumbs the depths of his expression in search of resentment or reproach. He finds none of this. The guilt comes back to grip his gut when he stares at the patch on the bridge of Mr. White’s nose, reminding him of the fight they had, the bruises they had left on each other. He leans in and gently rubs the tip of his nose against the older man’s one, as if to apologize.

He had only ever tried to tell him he loved him once. Walt had just run over two of Gus' men, saving his life and choosing _him_ , a pathetic, impulsive and irresponsible junkie, instead of the alliance of his life, the one that would guarantee him money and protection. He even offered to kill Gale to prevent him from getting his hands dirty, from having more trauma. He only asked him to find out the address. “I saved your life, Jesse” he had said. “Are you gonna save mine?”

“Yeah” Jesse had answered eventually. Of course he would. “Yeah, I’ll do it. Sure” He had looked around quickly to make sure Saul hadn't reappeared somewhere, before leaning into the other's embrace. “Mr. White” he had said, looking up straight in his eye. “I… I lov—”

Mr. White had stopped him with a hand on his mouth and shaken his head, looking down tenderly at him. Jesse had never tried to say it again since, but now, maybe, just maybe, he could. Now it's different, and it's just the two of them again like in the old days, when they still had fun spending days cooking and fucking in a van parked in the middle of the desert; now they finally got rid of Gus, they're both free, and he’s also quite euphoric, given that it's not even ten in the morning and he's already had two breathtaking orgasms.

So he smiles at him, leans his forehead against his and he just knows that Walt knows what he's going to tell him; he sees him coming, before he can even hear him, but this time it doesn't stop him. Jesse closes his eyes with a sigh. “I love you” he says. He waits silently for a couple of seconds to enjoy the sound of those words, and also a little to make sure they go through and Mr. White believes them. “I love you so much”

For the first time in weeks he’s happy again. Not at peace with himself – that he can never be, not anymore, not after Jane, not after Gale, not after that kid in the crack house he played Peekaboo with – but happy, and he knows Mr. White’s happy too. He hears him chuckle lightly, so he opens his eyes.

Walt spends a few seconds looking into his eyes, as he caresses his tattooed hand with his thumb. “I love you too” he replies at the end.

Jesse doesn't need to hear anything else. He lies on his side and Walt imitates him, surrounding him with one arm. “Five minutes, no more” he grants him. The patronizing tone doesn’t get on Jesse nerves for once. He smiles and pushes his back against him so that they’re basically attached. Walt repeatedly leaves butterfly kisses at the base of his neck, in contrast to the roughness of his beard. A thing of tenderness and innocence. Jesse sighs in bliss. “I knew you didn’t do it” he murmurs. “I knew it”

The man stops for a moment, swallows down his nervousness and goes back to shower Jesse’s neck with kisses.

He chases away the guilt like it’s just a fly.

**Author's Note:**

> I finished watching Breaking Bad a month ago. Had I known there were gonna be characters like these, I'd have totally watched it years ago. I feel a bit guilty tbh.  
> The title's from a song by the Depeche Mode.


End file.
